Does depression come by ‘choice’ or by ‘chance'?
If you live in Lagos, Nigeria, you need to choose your response to the very dynamic, chaotic and fast-paced people.
To be depressed or happy or just ‘go with the flow’ - is a daily choice.
Albert Ellis said “You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.”
Self-diagnosed depression and clinical depression have become common occurrences in our society, people now use the word more broadly to mean; sad, heartbreak, confusion and upset, therefore making it more difficult to isolate the real emotional experiences and making it even more complex to solve the challenges.
The biggest tragedy about depression at midlife is that much of the stress, misery and pain are totally unnecessary and avoidable.
You might have experienced: heartbreak, setback, loss, disappointment, and pain but this does not always result in depression.
A simple checklist for you are these questions from:
CBT book reference: Brier, S. (2012). Brilliant Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (2nd edition). Pearsons. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy | Computer Concepts & Applications | Information Technology | Learner US Site
1. If your answer is yes for 0 to 5 out of the 9 checkpoint lists, then you are okay, however:
You may need to have a special session with a coach or counsellor to determine why your motivation and inspiration levels are low at this time.
You can also review your friendships, environment, and diet. Some diets make you constantly heavy and burdened.
Create special scheduled trips that will help you break your routine and see new light, new sights, have new and better conversations with people from different stages in life and mindsets.
You may also rethink your choice of words and expressions about your feelings.
For example, ‘I’m super happy’ - is an extreme statement and can lead you to say- ‘I’m super sad or depressed’ and your body begins to invoke the feelings.
Expose yourself to situations that inspire blossoming and engage with people that will challenge your thinking pattern.
Have lunch with a different colleague and have a new view towards the curves of life. Talk to strangers just to talk and laugh, you don't necessarily need to exchange contacts.
2. If you answered yes to 7 points in the checking lists, please see a professional for careful diagnosis of the type of depression you might be experiencing.
Feeling unhappy or crushed most times may be as a result of certain events that have marred you. It is time to look at the meaning you have given to these events and disempower them from constantly making you sad and broken.
When you are feeling overwhelmed by events, relationship issues, career or business issues, you have to deconstruct the issues and deal with only a few things at a time. Allow your mind process only 1 or 2 issues per time in a systematic way.
Dealing with a depressive partner, colleague or family member can be quite tricky and stressful. Depression at midlife should not be allowed to fester or linger for a long time as it can become very difficult to treat due to the unusual benefits that may come with the situation such as; affection from others, acceptance or justification of poor behaviours, and these can further entrench the challenge.
Midlife Encounters are predictable if we settle down and review our circumstances. We need to consider a few factors such as our age, family structure, marriage, separation, divorce, number of children, location, culture, social connections, beliefs, and faith which determine the encounters and how to transit successfully. These factors can give us an idea of the type of things we should expect and we can then create ways to increase, decrease, or remove the impact.
We should not go around unconsciously or naively, not considering the various issues that can occur and learning ahead of time how to engage and deal. This way, we can avoid falling into depression at midlife.
Read about the health of African men in their late fifties, the cultural patterns of African men in their sixties and seventies; the effects on the family structure, health, and mindset.
Why is it suggested that the life expectancy of the African man is systematically shorter than the Japanese man?
Also, is it true that the average life expectancy of African women is longer than that of men?
What are those events that you have not addressed and are leading you to depression?
Take action today to study your situation and reprogramme yourself, your schedule, and your mindset about the future.
Do you need assistance?
Book a Coaching Session with us today.
Send Us A Mail: midlifeencounters@gmail.com
Call/Send Us A Chat: +2349060370862
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